update on Henry Lancaster

2010-12-31T10:06:00.004-05:00

To those of you who may have been checking Henry's blog, and wondered why there have been no new entries since June, I write this message. this is Henry's wife, Joanne, and I have just spend this New Year's Eve morning reading Henry's entries, especially the last one. As an eye witness, I can tell you that every word of that entry is true, especially the testimony of God working in his life. I recall the words of Job 21:10 "refine you .... you will come forth as gold". henry came forth as gold, and then he went home to be with the Lord on July 9th 2010. He has just spent his first Christmas with the King! What a thought.
For those of you who did not know of Henry's passing from this life, the circumstance was one of surprise and speed, without warning and, on reflection, this was an answered prayer. He had several last months of quality time and fun with Blair, and then he was taken with only a short time of suffering.
I will attempt to paste our 2010 Christmas letter below, although not sure if I will be successful. Either way, I pray that each of you experiences God in a way that Henry did during 2011. God bless.

How good God is!

2010-06-21T12:44:00.003-04:00

caption: Blair showing his "boo boo" from soccer.

It has been over two months since my last entry, and I am sorry that I have let the time lapse, however it has been for good reason. God has been healing me in so many ways over the last several months that i have been spending lots of time playing outside with my little boy and Joanne, and lots of time doing mild exercise to build up my strength. I have been able to visit friends and do lots of things I did in my former life. The only real differences are that I still have to wear oxygen all the time and I get tired a lot easier. I even take naps in the midday sometimes. But it is a far cry from the days of old. The dark days when I couldn't even get out of bed and walk to the bathroom without a walker and aid from Joanne. The days when we were all preparing ourselves and our son for "daddy" not being here any more. They were tough times, but they served to really meld us together as a family, and renew our faith in Jesus and who He is and what He has already done for us by dying on the cross. Jesus got us through those days and He is getting through the days still. I still sin on a daily basis, but my sins are different now. God is digging deeply into my heart to find all of the sin that is still there, and He is showing them to me every day. As they come out, I can see them and I am filled with sorrow that I still have such evil in my heart. But that sorrow brings me to the feet of God the father and lets me kneel down and ask for forgiveness and repentance. I beg Him to cleanse me of those things forever. Of course He does, but the point is that when we accept Jesus as our savior, it doesn't mean that we are all of the sudden perfect and won't sin any more. Nor does it mean that life will be all good from that day on. It means that we have recognized that we are evil at heart and Jesus DID pay the penalty for that evil by dying on the cross , being seperated from the Father and then conquering death to come back to life and return to heaven. When we accept that truth and admit that we need that forgiveness, then, and only then, God will forgive us and fill us with His Holy Spirit so that we have the power (from Him) to turn from sin and follow Him. Sometimes it takes years to repent from some of your sins. Christians struggle with this all of the time. Until we realize that it can't be done by ourselves, but only by keeping close to God and letting His Spirit work in us, can we ever expect to lead a life of Godliness. He uses times like extreme illness, or catastrophe to get our attention sometimes, so that we get this point. That is why I am happy that I had the problems I had and still have. If not, I would most likely be living on my own right now. I would probably be ignoring God until I wanted something and that is the biggest sin of all. Anyway, enough preaching.

I want to thank God for giving me another Fathers' Day with my family! I want to thank Him for all of the provisions He has given me and my family and the love He showers on us through my wife, my son, my Mom and Dad, my sister's family (especially the prayers of sweet little Josh), and the rest of our extended family. I also am thankful for our friends who have stuck with us by being there for us to pray, babysit, fix food, mow our lawn, and just listening. You all know who you are.

Blair is 2 and 1/2 now, which means he is in the terrible two's. We are handling it okay, but God is really teaching us a lot through this also. Blair is incredibly cute and does the silliest things, which any of you with kids already know what I am talking about. He is an angel and I am so glad to still be alive to be his daddy. In honor of the soccer (or football as my wife from Scotland calls it), Blair has started soccer league this summer and the picture on this page is the uniform from the Netherlands. Joanne picked it up while she was in Amsterdam for business. I think he really likes soccer. Maybe another Beckham on our hands. He is also learning to swim in our pool. For his age he is remarkable. He jumps in and swims under water to the steps and gets out on his own. But, he has a long way to go before he is really swimming. He is much to brave for own good. As for me, I am riding my bike again, I take walks, I mow the lawn (riding mower), I do some chores around the house and I change diapers!!! Life is good! Hope your's is that good. Till next time, Henry.

2010-04-22T20:38:00.002-04:00

Well, first things first...I have experienced a miracle in my life. Actually I have experienced a series of them over the last several months, but this one caught me by surprise because of how huge it is. God has been so good to me and my family. He has healed my kidneys and I am no longer doing dialysis. I just got the news yesterday morning as I was getting ready to go to dialysis. They called and said that my urine test from two days earlier showed that my kidneys were now doing their job and I could stay home! Thank you Jesus! I have been feeling so much better over the last few weeks and now this. It is awesome. My lungs are slightly improved as well. I had tests done on tuesday and they have improved a couple of percentage points. Maybe someday I won't need supplemental oxygen.

I have to admit that I doubted that God would choose to heal me, and it was getting me down, however a month or so ago I started reading the book of Psalms. I started with Psalm 1 and just kept going one Psalm a day. by the time I got to around Psalm 30 I knew that God was King of the Universe and He cared about me and my family even though it seemed like He wasn't answering my prayers. My love grew for Him more and more each day, and I learned that prayer is still important and powerful, even if you don't think He is listening. If things don't happen just like we want that does not mean anything because He is still in control and knows what He is doing. Now I have this miracle of kidney function. yes, that makes me happy , but I wouldn't give up what has happened to us over the last year because it has taken me to a deeper faith and I can talk to people about my savior, Jesus with such passion. I have been blessed to have lots of health problems since I was a little kid. i say blessed because it has all come together to make me a better follower of Christ. it has given me passion for those that don't know Christ and it has made me more humble. It's hard to be proud when you're on disability, your neighbors have to chip in to do the yard work because you can't or you're in the hospital. When your wife has to work full time, cook, clean and do almost all of the chores, on top of taking care of our son. Up until a few weeks ago, that's exactly how it was. Being humbled is so important to make us fully lean on the Lord for all things. So, all of you who have been praying for us, thank you big time! God is so good and I pray that you all will realize that. If you are one of my readers and you still don't know the peace and the power of having Jesus rule your life, I am praying that He comes to you. If you think that I am only happy about Christ because He has healed my kidneys, you need to go back and read my earlier blogs. You will see that I always had faith even when things were really bad. Please read them.

take care, we love you all.

How come I am positive?

2010-02-20T16:14:00.003-05:00

I wanted to take the opportunity to thank all of you who have been reading my blog and have been praying for my family. Many of you have sent me messages which have been really encouraging. It's so great to hear from you.
Things are going okay here. My kidneys are still not working but I am getting more used to the idea of dialysis. God is helping me cope with the change and he has put a very strong group of family members around me to help. Shout out to my lovely Mom, my awesome sister and my incredible wife to name a few. A lot of my nurses have made comments to me that they are impressed with my positive attitude during all of these illnesses that keep popping up. I am humbled when they say that because my closest family members know that I haven't been that positive. I have complained, whined even cried over some of it. But Jesus still keeps showing up. He finds me no matter how deep I have fallen and He picks me up somehow. I could say it's all due to my friends and family, but it's deeper than that. Jesus and His Holy Spirit really do live in my heart, and they help me to eventually overcome the fear and lies that come from satan. He opens my eyes and I again get to see the whole picture instead of focusing just on my problems. The Lord has been there for me my entire life by protecting me and loving me. Finally about 19 years ago, I gave my life to Him and have been joyous ever since. I don't mean that I have always been happy, I mean that a huge void in me has been filled and it gives me a base level of joy that keeps me from being overcome by the worldly problems. Yes, I fall many times but He is there to pick me up. I don't have to keep searching for self help solutions, or addictions or "religions of the day" to make me happy. Jesus does it all and will always do it no matter how bad things get. I hope that any of you who read this and don't have a relationship with Jesus will pray that He show Himself to you. This is the long answer to how I manage to be positive in such adverse times. It is not me, it is Christ in me. I have no doubt that without Christ I would have tried to commit suicide many times in the past. I will discuss that another time. Anyway, thanks for keeping up with me and I will continue to blog as long as I can.

February update

2010-02-14T17:26:00.004-05:00

Hi friends! I have not been able to get my computer to work online for a couple of weeks until now. I am writing to you from my room in Methodist Hospital. I would like to tell you that everything is going well, but such is not the case. Again, my faith is being tested. Thank God there are so many people praying for me because most days lately, I have not been very strong. I certainly don't feel like an inspiration to anyone these days. But others have been inspirations to me. Joanne and I have so many really great people that God has put in our lives, and that has helped a lot lately. It also helps to get online and share the latest news with all of you. Just to put you up to date with the facts of my health issues, here we go. Two and half weeks ago I came in to have a skin graft done on my leg, and started having a really high fever that day. They decided not to do the surgery but admitted me to the hospital to treat the fever. They thought it was either from a lung infection or they thought my leg wound was infected. They didn't know so they put me on 3 different I.V. antibiotics at the same time. One of them is very toxic to your kidneys (and my kidneys are fragile already, because all of my medications). The fevers didn't go away. I still had the skin graft done,and stayed on the antibiotics. About a week later my breathing started getting much worse and they had to increase my oxygen to 10 liters a minute from what I was on before I came in, which was 6 liters per minute. Even on this increased amount I still was having trouble breathing. Then they noticed that my creatinine levels had gone way up. That is a chemical that they check in your blood in order to monitor your kidney function. Mine was really high, and we also realized that I hadn't been putting out much urine. So, guess what...my kindneys had failed. When they told me I was going to need dialysis it felt surreal. I could not believe it was happening. So, fast forward to today. I am doing dialysis three days a week, hopes that my kidneys will start to function again on their own. The antibiotics have been stopped and they have discovered why I was having the fevers and feeling crappy in general. Turns out they decided to check my blood for a rare inection called histoplasmosis, and it was positive! I have severe hisoplasmosis, and probably have had it for months. You get it by breathing in the spores of the histoplasmosis fungus which lives in the soil and is prevalent in this part of the country. Since my immune system is suppressed from my lung transplant, histoplasmosis can cause a serious infection. It is probably why my breathing got so bad last summer and it is absolutely what is behind my fever and chills. They have me on medication for it now, but it takes a year or more to treat it. So, maybe you can see my dilemma...they have found out what my disease is and they are treating it, in the process they destroyed my kidneys by treating me with so many antibiotics. I just pray that my kidneys start to recover soon.
Blair and Joanne come to see me almost every day. Blair is getting so big now. He turned two a couple of weeks ago. Seeing them cheers me up every time. It's so amazing how happy a child can make you. Today is my wedding anniversary and Joanne and I celebrated by watching HGTV in the hospital room. We have been married for 18 years now. Hard to believe we met each other 20 years ago. She was only 21 at the time and just arrived here from Scotland. I convinced her not to go back, and the rest is history. Well, I am going to sign off. I ask that you pray for my kidneys, and for our little family. We are all tired and could use some rest from the stress. I am praying that the Lord gives us what we need and I thank Him for all of you. Take care!

2010-01-09T11:52:00.006-05:00

Hello all. I hope everyone had a good time celebrating Christmas and New Years! We had a great Christmas at our house. Joanne, Blair and I spent the morning at home, and we had fun watching Blair open his wide array of trucks and trains and cars. Those are his favorite types of toys. Then I got pretty ill and went to bed for a couple of hours so we could later spend the day at the Kolman's house. We had a great time over there. The next day was much anticipated because my sister's family and my Mom were coming to town . It was awesome to have everyone at our house for Christmas. We had a great dinner and then exchanged gifts, sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and then had our white elephant gift exchange. That was fun and everyone got something cool. I love my family so much. Montana and Josh are a wonderful neice and nephew and Chris is the best brother-in-law. Of course my sister, Cathe is the best , and my Mom (Blair's Nanie) is awesome! We had a really great time, but they had to go home the next day. I spent half of that day sick in bed as well. You may guess where i am heading with this. Yes...I ended up going in the hospital again. I had a 105.5 degree fever, so they told me to go the ER and get admitted. I must say God's timing was difficult for us. I went in the hospital just before New Years and then a couple of days later, Joanne had to leave the country for business. Little Blair had to go stay with some great friends of ours. I was relaxed about this for the first few days, but then the doctors couldn't figure out why I was having this fever and the chills. They cultrured a surgical site on my leg and it grew some psuedomonas, so that's what they mainly treated. After changng the antibiotics several times they got one that worked and the fevers went away.

I must confess I was angry with God for making us go through all of this once again. I just felt like he wasn't answering all the prayers that everyone tells me that they are praying. It seems like as soon as I start feeling good and get motivated, then the rug gets pulled out from under me. I feel even worse for Joanne and Blair when I have to go into the hospital. We struggle through it, but it is very difficult. Thank God for our families and for our friends. I don't know how we would make it if it weren't for them. I feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth. I am angry at God, but I am thanking Him for His provisions. I guess that's real life. It's easy to talk all great about Jesus when things are going well, but when you fell like you're getting kicked every time you turn around, then it takes a lot for you to focus on the good He is doing in your life.
I have been home from the hospital for a week now and feeling pretty good. I am so thankful to be home. I was able to go sledding with Blair and Joanne the other day, and another day we went to the mall for a while. Those are huge things for me right now. Each morning Joanne asks Blair what he is thankful for ( she started this on the way to taking him to daycare). A couple of mornings I rode with her and when it came my turn to tell what I was thankful for , it was simple. I was thankful for Jesus, my wife and son and our families and great friends. That's what it all boils sown to when you feel like nothing else is going right. and...you know what...that's okay. Jesus said do not fear the world, for I have overcome the world. I have been praying for him to look at the sin in my heart and change it so that I would be more thankful than complaining. It's tough but He is doing it a little bit at a time.
I have to go in the hopital one more time in a week and a half for a skin graft on my leg. PLease pray that it does not get infected and it goes well. Next week is Blair's second birthday!!! We are going to meet my family in Champaign to celebrate and then the next day have a little kids' party at Chuck E Cheese. I can't believe I am so old and all of this is so new to me. Joanne and I tried to have kids for years but didn't think it would happen, until 2 years ago and our miracle baby was born. Believe it or not Joanne wants to have another one. She just loved having an infant and loves being a mom. I think she just misses the sore boobs and long nights of the baby crying, or maybe she has forgotten those things.
One last thing...we have been really saddended by the tragedy in Haiti. Please pray for the Lord's work to be done down there. 30% of the population are Christian and the rest are a mix of voodoo and other beliefs. I keep hearing on the radio that the Christians are singing hymns and calling on God more than ever, and the non Chritians don't know what to say. They realize that their gods are not real and cannot really help them. If you can pray, or send support , then please do. Well, take care of yourselves until next time. Henry

2009-11-30T19:45:00.003-05:00

In the words of my biggest hero, Brittany Spears, "oops, I did it again!" I left you hanging for a month without any blogging. I must admit, I wanted to update several times but I just can't seem to come up with the time. You know, I am on disability now, so I don't work at all. My son goes to daycare most of the week because my wife works full time and I don't have anywhere near the energy it takes to care for him by myself...so I do a lot of really important things each day that just seem to take up all of my precious time. I sleep ( a lot); I eat; I study my Bible, and then Joanne and Blair come home. You see why it is so difficult for me to find any spare time. Truth is, I have so much free time that I have been very lazy.

So, enough with that. I will update you on my status. Two weeks ago, I had the flu. I got my seasonal flu shot months ago, but never got the pig flu shot because it is so hard to find around here. So...I am not sure what kind of flu I had, but it was not very fun. I had a fever of 104 for a couple of days and was freezing cold no matter how many blankets I put over me. The most unfortunate thing was that it right when my Dad and his family, my sisters and families and my uncle Bob were supposed to come see me (they think I am dying, but I think the doctor was premature in telling us that). Anyway they couldn't come which made us all very sad. I haven't seen some of them in years.

As far as my attitude toward life, God and this illness...well, I am much more positive, which I can only attest to the Lord's faithfullness to me. Despite all of the drawbacks to being terminally ill, I am getting some strength back and I am able to spend more quality time with my wife and son. Some days I am too tired to get out bed, but the Lord always gives me just enough energy to play with Blair when he is home. Other days are like I'm not even sick at all. I feel normal except that I am tethered to an oxygen tank. It's funny...I have 50 feet of tubing from my oxygen tank to my nasal canula so I can walk all around the house. Well, that means that there is always a line or a pile of tubing laying on the floor and it is easy to trip over if you're not careful. Well, Blair has gotten so used to avoiding it and getting untangled when he can't avoid, it's amazing. And when does get tangled, you can here him saying "Daddy, daddy" as if he is blaming me or something. but it's really cute when he does it.

Joanne is doing pretty well too these days. I would ask you to pray for her however, because all of her extra responsibilities are wearing her out. Also pray that I would be able to take over some of the house chores that I used to do so she can rest a little bit. If you know her, you would know that she is very type A, and is a busy bee all of the time. But even she is getting tired.

One other thing I would like to do is spend more time with freinds. I feel akward trying to do that right now because I have to wear oxygen, and I can't do much other than sit around. Guys aren't really that good at just sitting and talking, so I need some help there. But here is the good news. My attitude change has been because I have been gettting in to the Bible and actually reading study notes each day. This was prompted by Joanne , who is, herself in a Bible study group right now. It has helped us both improve our prayer time with Jesus and that has helped us cope with the problems. If you're not doing the same, I would highly suggest it!!!!

Oh, and we have been saying our nightly prayers with Blair just before Joanne takes him upstairs to bed, and the other night he was so cute. We had been out to eat and got home around his bedtime, and when we walked in the house, he went right to the living room coffee table and kneeled down, clasped his hands together and said, "Jesus!". Then he looked up at us as if to say, "get over here and pray." Ever since then he has been kneeling and praying with us. Kids are so awesome!

Take care of yourselves, send me a message if you want at hlancas2@iupui.edu

2009-10-20T17:02:00.002-04:00

Well, I know it's been a long time since my last posting, and I just took a look at my last posting...boy was it depressing. I am sorry I left you thinking that I had lost all hope. Truth is, it has been a battle the last month. That cut that I suffered on my leg got infected and I had to go back into the hospital for IV antibiotics. Four weeks later it is now looking better but has a long way to go . My leg is swollen and the laceration hurts most of the time.

I have received many prayers and get well cards during this time, and I want to thank all of you for them. God has brought so many great people into our lives to help out. Our neighbors have been mowing our lawn every week for us! People have taken me to doctors' appointments and even gone with me to the emergency room. You know how long those can take. Today my mom took me to the dental school to pick up my office stuff that had been packed up, and we got to visit with all of the faculty, staff and students. I must say it was a really good time. I don't miss the school that much, but I did miss the people. It really cheered me up! My mom is an angel. She pushed me around the school in my wheelchair and I am sure it wore her out.

Basically the last 4 weeks have been full of lots of ups and downs for me, both physically and emotionally. Which is why I haven't felt like blogging. I felt like I would just let all of you down because I just didn't have anything really positive to relay. I have spent many days focusing on how much I have lost in the past 10 months. I went from working full time and being able travel, play with my son, swim in our pool, go on long walks with my wife, etc. Now I can't do any of those. I was letting it bring me down and I was having trouble not being angry with God. I have a pretty strong relationship with Christ, yet I was still getting angry and feeling sorry for myself. For instance, this week I had to go to the emergency room, and then the next day I had to go back to the hospital because I thought I had a collapsed lung. I have been in lots of pain and just very weak. Yesterday I told God I was miserable with my life and couldn't take it anymore. Guess what, He heard me. Today I have felt more cheerful and physically I feel much better.

God allows us to wander away and get angry, and stop looking to Him for our comfort. But He only allows it for a time. Eventually you have to come back to Him. I had to break down and cry out to him for help. That's exactly what I did yesterday, and today He graciously put His arms around me for comfort. My problems are all still here but He is letting me handle them much better. I hope you can take my experiences and let God take care of you the same way.

2009-09-18T17:05:00.002-04:00

I have been down for the last day or two. Everything is going okay...Joanne is the perfect nurse and wife and mother, but it's going to kill her if things don't change soon. She can't do it all for much longer. Please pray for that. I have not been progressing. My breathing hasn't gotten any better and today I realized that my body is getting so weak from laying down so much. I tried to go upstairs this morning to take a CO detector off the wall cause it was beeping that it needed a new battery. Of course it was beeping at 7:30 am when I was trying to get more zzzzz's. Anyway I figured I would just go upstairs, geet it done, then shower to save me a trip upstairs. I got to the top of the stairs and my oxygen hose popped loose (it's hooked downstairs). I knew if I tried to go back down I would give up and not come back, so I decided to go on just room air. I first had to move a chair over to the wall to climb up and grab this annoying , chirping thing that wouldn't let me sleep. I did that...and then I tried to climb on the chair. my legs were too weak!! I moved the chair so I could get some momentum and try it again. I got half way up and then the legs gave out and I fell. There I lay, on the floor with a sore leg, no oxygen, I was exhausted, nobody else was home...and my cell phone was downstairs!

I was the lady in the commercial who had fallen and couldn't get up. Well, I just laid there for a few minutes to catch my breath. I started to get up and noticed blood on the floor. My leg had a 6 inch gash in it and was starting to bleed. God was with me however. I prayed that He would help me. I was able to get to the shower and get showered, then I got the cut bandaged with all the gauze I needed right there. All of this took a long time just because I wasn't on oxygen, but I did it. I managed to make it downstairs an hour later and called the nurse who came over and took care of the wound a little better than I had. It was all very scary however. I can't believe just how weak by body has become. That is why I am down. I just don't see things getting a whole different. This is not a good existence. I need for energy. I know I need to exercise, but all my body wants to do is sleep. Please pray for me in this area. I love the LOrd, but I am losing hope in what He is going to do.

2009-09-05T15:45:00.002-04:00

Well, I have been listening to Exodus on my audio Bible for the last few weeks and it was really neat to listen to the narrator go over the details of the plagues and the pharoh. It is a story we're all familiar with. It has so much power when an awesome narrator reads it like Max McClean. But lately I have been in chapter 30 and so on, where the battle is over and there is a lot of talk about painstakingly making the religious garments that are to be worn by Aaron and the priests. And about the exact sizes and placements of all of the alters and wash basins. My brain tends to turn off during this part, but today I listened to it all again and realized that our God is a God of extreme detail. He ordered this entire universe and his instructions to Moses in the Bible was just a glimpse of how detailed and HOLY God is. We take the this for advantage so much each day, especially since it's so easy to approach God as saved ones of Jesus now.

My health is improving little by little these days. I am trying to spend some time off of the oxygen while sitting around the house for a couple of hours at a time. It's not bad if I don't do anything to quickly. If I didn't have to sleep so many hours a day, I think I would be lot's better. I end up sleeping about 4 hours a day in addition to my evenings. I don't know if it's left over from my sleeping pills or if my body needs it. I have to take 4 different kinds of pills just to get a good night's sleep, so some of them may just be lasting too long. I don't know. I am getting out some. We went to Lowe's the other day and I walked a lot, I go with Joanne to the store when I can. I spend time walking around our pool deck which is rather large. I am sure building up energy but I still can't do much at all.

In all this I know God is helping me and he is working on my attitude as much as my body. I think Him for all things. Especially such an awesome wife who is taking care of my like an angel. She makes everything so easy for me. I also thank God for my friends and family who are praying constantly. God answers prayers and adjusts His will according to the prayers of the saints.

2009-08-28T16:34:00.002-04:00

Here are some pix of Blair for you to enjoy.

2009-08-25T21:22:00.003-04:00

Before you say anything, I know it's been a long time since my last post. If you remember my message from before about being attacked by the devil when you speak up about the Lord, then you would know that I have been under attack for the last two weeks. I have been physically worn out, very sleepy, stomach upset, and fatigue that keeps me in bed for 3/4 of each day. I just haven't felt like blogging. I have still managed to get up for my morning coffee each day and listen to 3 or 4 chapters of the Bible (so take that one satan). Finally in a lucid moment while sitting here with my wife, she convinced me to take to the keyboard once again and strike a blow.

I don't know if I am dying right now or not. I don't know if my lungs are ever going to get better than they are right now. I don't know if my family will hold up much longer without losing our minds. We have cried so many times over the various plights we are facing. Holding on to our faith in Christ is tough but never in doubt. We just don't always do a good job of going to Him first. If we could just learn to go immediately to our knees instead of our heads, we would be much better off. That is easier said than done unfortunately.
The good things to report are that today I learned some ways to spend more time with Blair even given my lack of energy and mobility. On our living room floor he loves to play with big pillows. Well I finally got up the energy to thrown one on the floor and he dove right in with me. I laid there and he just kept jumping on me and ticking and wrestling. That was the most time we have spent touching and bonding in months. It took a lot of energy for me to get down there but boy was it worth it. I fell trying to get back up, but what the heck. I also have tried to connect with Joanne more. We have fallen into a caretaker-patient role and have lost the personal connection. That has been helped lately, due to a lot of crying and prayer.
so there is still hope. Keep praying for that part of our lives. I will try to remember all of you who are praying for us. God will honor your prayers. Well, gotta go and spend some time with Joanne before she leaves town for a trip tomorrow. My Mom is coming to help out while she is gone. Please pray for her safety getting here and back and that she has fun seeing me and Blair.

2009-08-09T16:33:00.002-04:00

Hi new followers and the old faithful. I feel like I have returned from the edge of the abyss. I am sorry I have taken so long to get back on the keyboard, but it has been a tough couple of weeks. I had spent 3 days at home after being in the hospital for 35 days. Then I had a relapse and have been back in there for the last two weeks and finally returned home two days ago. I have been in the hospital since the beginning of June except for my 3 day hiatus. At least I didnt miss any good weather. We did miss our Florida vacation with my sister and her wonderful family. They had a good time anyway.

Well, my advice to all of you want to speak up for Christ, or go out on a limb and write a blog from a Christian perspective, or even if you have made a decision to accept Him...hang on for a rocky road. that is when satan gets in high gear and really puts the screws to you. He will make you go through some really rough time or maybe He'll make something awesome happen to you, all so that you won't want to talk about Christ as much as you wanted to before. In my case I had to go through the drug withdrawal twice and felt isolated, tired and generally stuck on my case too much. I didn't answer my phone for days, I stopped writing my blog, and there were even days that I didn't listen to , or read my Bible. These are all attacks of the evil one so you will take your mind off of God and then he can start to tell you lies about God. He'll told me things like I would never get better, my life was over, nobody was worth talkiing to cause I had no hope to give them about my great God anymore. These are ALL lies ! Only the prayers of the other Christians are the only thing that will get you through times like these to the point at which I am right now. I have come out of the fog and realize that God was there the whole time.

About 5 days was the worse day of my life. I was very lethargic and couldn't stay awake most of the day. My breathing was getting weaker and I needed help to walk further than 20 feet, and that was with oxygen. I had not been blogging, had not been listening to the Bible either. Well, my doctor was worried and without my knowledge had summoned my wife, Joanne to come to the hospital for a discussion. When she got to my room she was crying. She said that he had told her that we all needed to have a talk about the "future". He entered the room and started out by saying that he felt like I wasn't progressing the way I should be from the narcotic withdrawal and he felt that my problems were because my lungs were finally giving out. "We needed to think about end of life issues". He felt that I was too sick to go home without going into hospice and that they would do everything to keep me comfortable. To us he had pronounced that I was going home to die. We were crushed. Every bit of encouragement I had was immediately sapped and filled with fear and anger. I afraid that I would never see my little boy Blair again. I thought I would go home in this half sleep, half concscience state and never be able to interact with him again. In a matter of seconds, my life and my family had been taken from me by this doctor's statement. I held it all in and didn't say a word, but Joanne was very emotional. It hurt so much to watch her lose all hope. I also was angry. I was angry at my doctor. I think he is wrong. He's never seen me go through withdrawal and he wasn't giving me long enough. I hated him for giving up on me. He's supposed to encourage me.
Well, needless to say the next few days were horrible. I had no hope. Joanne could only think of losing me, and all I could think about was going home to die and never seeing my wife and son again. Then God broke through. slowly He gave Joanne the calmness to set up the whole hospice thing. They explained that it doen't have to the end of my life. they were just there to help me get comfortable at home and maybe get back to normal. Hope began to creep back. Then I figured out that they just had me on too much sleeping medicine which is why I couldn't stay awake during the day. I cut it down and the tiredness went away. I am oxygen and my legs are getting stronger each day. Especially now that I have been home. Being with my wife and sister (God love her) and my beloved son, have lifted my spirits and shown me where God has been all along. He has been there towering behind puny satan the whole time. Now God has "pronounced" "GET BEHIND THEE SATAN". Stop telling my son all of those lies.

I don't know how much better I will get, but I am not dying. I am back in touch, and mostly with God. I hope you all keep praying for me because of the attacks that i am sure satan will launch again. I will start praying for you as well. Please keep your faith!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-22T22:25:00.002-04:00

I must say that I haven't felt much like getting on the internet, but I felt that I had to keep up the blog. I may have become unfaithful to Jesus lately, but He is still faithful to me. I have been struggling with fatigue and anxiety and discouragement. Mainly , when I think about the withdrawal symptoms that are coming, I get really upset and worried. It has taken several visits from freinds who have prayed for me and read scripture to me to make me come back to reality. One friend fom college left a scripture from Isaiah 40 that really inspired me. It tells me that God is there for me and to stop looking anxiously for Him. That helps a lot.

Medically, I am having one problem after another and the doctors have me and Joanne a bit upset about my predicament. I guess I will just have to continue to trust God from day to day for His strength. He has given me so many reasons to trust Him in the past, and I don't want to start failing Him now. It's a miracle that I am even here today. 12 years ago when I had my transplant, I wasn't supposed to live another year, and Joanne and I didn't think I would make it. We went through so much more than what I am going through now, and we both used the time to get closer to the Lord. We spent a lot of time studying about God and his word. It brought us so much strength when the tough times came. If I could count on Him then, then I can count on Him now.
If you are going through something tough right now, please take some inspiration from me. I am fighting tooth and nail to hang on to my trust and faith in God. I know He wants to use my struggle to help you if you need it.
Let's stick in there together. take care, Henry.

2009-07-18T12:12:00.002-04:00

Hi folks,
The Lord has seen fit to give me a rest from my withdrawal pains. I was out of the hospital all of 3 days and then ended up back in here on Thursday night. I had gone in to have blood drawn for labs and got a call from my doctor later that day telling me that a lot of my blood values were dangerously off and I should not go on vacation, but in fact, come back in the hospital. He also felt that I needed to come up with a different way to taper my narcotics since I was feeling so terribly. So, here I am. I am rehydrated, some of my blood values are going back to normal and I am on more narcotics. I do feel better, but not a whole lot better. I pray that God spare me some of the pain and misery that I have been suffering. I just want to feel normal again. He is helping, but I know that He is testing me , or using me for more than I know. It's just tough when you don't know what or why He is allowing it. I love Jesus so much, but i still have trouble understanding some of this. I get scared of how much worse it may get.
The last thing I want to do is lose my faith, however, cause without faith in our Lord, there is nothing. All would be foolishness and all would be in vain. It would be like being lost at sea with no compass, no radio, no food, no lifeboat...nothing. It would even be worse, but i can't come up with an analogy for having no faith in God. No faith is not an option!!!!
I am going to end with a prayer, "Dear Lord, Jesus, please forgive me for my lack of understanding, help my unbelief. I don't know why you are putting me in this set of circumstances, and I wish it were over. Please help me to lean on you as much as I need to in order to make it through this trial. Please keep me from sinning in my frustration. I pray for Joanne and Blair , that you comfort them through this time. Thank you so much for all of the help that our neighbors are giving us through this time. May we be witnesses to them at this time. Please be also with my family. Help my Mom deal with this crisis and also give her the strength to help Uncle Lewie while he is in the hospital. Protect my sister and her family while they are in Florida without us. give them wonderful time and thanks for their prayers. Lord, I love you, and I want to trust you more and more. I pray in the salvation provided by my savior, Jesus, Amen."

2009-07-15T17:39:00.003-04:00

Warning...this is not a warm or fuzzy posting. Today has been one of the worst days I have had in years. As you may know if you have been reading my blog, I get physiologically addicted to narcotics very easily. I had to go on pain pills during this hospitalization because of the post op pain that I was having (I had 4 surgeries in 35 days). anyway, as soon as I started cutting back on the amount of medicine, my body went into withdrawal. This has happened in the past, so I was expecting it, but it's like preparing for a tornado...it's still gonna hurt you pretty bad no matter how prepared you are. Well, today I cut my dose in half (for the fifth time) and it was very tough. I have been breaking out in a cold sweat all day and felt like throwing up for most of the afternoon. I only feel slightly okay right now because I just had a dose, so it's working on those receptors. I fear that in another hour or two it will wear off and I will be hurting again until the next dose is due. This has been the longest day!!!!!! I can't do anything but lay down and breathe really fast while I fight off these symptoms that feel like a horrible case of the flu.

What you may not know is that I am not mentally or emotionally addicted to the drug. My body just doesn't like it when I take it away. If I was addicted, I would be over there swallowing as many of these things as I could to get rid of this horrible feeling. I am so thankful that I am only dealing with the physical part of this. God has not prepared me for the battle that real addicts would be fighting. I guess that is the silver lining in all this. He has given me the mental ability to stay "un"addicted. Anyway, please pray for me to make it through this. It is every bit a battle physically. I have been through this twice before and the last time I did it all wrong. I went from a high dose to nothing...cold turkey...and almost died. The doctors at the hospital who specialize in chemical dependency told me that I did the worst thing I could have done then. They said that people have died doing that...so this time I am cutting down little by little. It is not as bad, but man is it bad! I know God is looking out for me and that is the only thing I can hold onto right now.
Before I sign off, I want to wish a Happy Birthday to my good freind, Paul "dam it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool boy" Kolman. He doesn't look a day over 40.

2009-07-10T21:08:00.002-04:00

I want to change tunes a bit and talk about someone besides myself for awhile. I was just sitting here watching the slide show on my computer and I couldn't resist staring at the ones of my son, Blair. He is such a cutie, and of course I am biased. I miss my little buddy so much. He hasn't been able to come see me since last Saturday, and right now he is at home suffering from some virus. The poor thing is miserable and I feel so sorry for him.

God was so good when he gave us Blair. It has been such a wonderful time in our lives. We finally care for and love someone more than we do ourselves. That is so wonderful. The cute things that Blair is doing right now are priceless and I am missing most of them because of being in here. I must rely on Joanne to relay each and every one of them to me as best as she can. That's a good thing but it's not like being there. I love him so much and I want to be there as much as I can for him. I know God cares about that too, and he will give me ample time with Blair, but in the meantime, it hurts a lot to miss out on his little life. Those of you with kids know exactly what I am talking about. You feel like their lives fly by so quickly as it is. But then take a month and go away from home and see how much you miss.

Anyway, Blair is awesome and I am so lucky to be his daddy. I will treasure every moment that I do get to spend with him. thank you Lord for the opportunity to be a daddy and please help my little boy get well tonight.

take care,
Henry

Thanks for a good day.

2009-07-07T21:12:00.004-04:00

Well, I have some great news for my update today. God answered two huge prayers with a resounding "YES". First of all, I had my friend, IMPD Officer Kevin Kearn come visit me today. It was a treat to get to talk to him. We had a great time! Then while he was here, Joanne popped in for a visit as well. I was so happy to see her, and it was a surprise. She told us that she had been praying that someone would come visit me today. She had realized that I was getting lonely and decided to ask the Lord to provide a visitor for me. Well God sent me Kevin, and he was in uniform. I thought maybe i was getting arrested for something, but luckily that didn't happen.

The other answer to prayer is equally satisfying. I was worried that I wasn't tapering off of the narcotics the correct way, so I was praying for help. Well, my nurse was vigilant in getting a man named Jimmy Riser to come see me. Get this, he is a drug dependency specialist. He specializes in getting people off of narcotics and other addictions in a way that is best for them. He changed my medications and the doses and got me on the right track. Now I don't feel so crummy. I don't sit and watch the clock waiting for my next fix. The only thing is that I do fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I can put up with that though. I was also able to walk longer and farther today than I have been able to do since I have been here. That's awesome!

So God deserves lots of praise! You all deserve lots of thanks for your prayers as well, since i know He honors those.

take care and God bless you all,

Henry

2009-07-06T10:23:00.002-04:00

You know how it's usually pretty easy to trust in God and to tell others to do the same when things are going well. Well, I feel like that has been the case so far in most of my blog since I have been in the hospital stay. It has been fairly easy going and some might say that I haven't really been tested enough to tell them how great our God really is.

So...I was thinking about that for the last few days and I'll tell you why. I have been coming down on my narcotics lately for two reasons. First of all I have a history of getting addicted to them very easily which makes it difficult to come off of them without severe withdrawal symptoms. The other reason is the obvious one...I am having less and less pain so it's time. Therein lies the problem. I am still experiencing some pretty wicked withdrawal symptoms even though am tapering my doses very slowly and trying to be as careful as I can. I am sitting here right now looking at the clock wishing it would tick by faster and faster so I can take my next dose of fentanyl. I feel like a hard core addict awaiting his next fix and ready to do anything to get it. I can really start to understand how addicts fall into this horrible form of slavery and sin when we are talking an illegal drug. Actually even if it is legal, if it takes us away from our relationship from God it is sin. What I am suffering right now is not sin, but it is a real addiction and it is taking a lot out of me to resist. I am shaking so hard I can barely type this blog. I keep making mistakes in typing because the tremors are severe. thank God for the delete key. I feel such a tiredness that I can't even stay awake while I am typing. I keep finding myself waking up in the middle of a sentence and I don't remember what I was going to say. All of my muscles are fatigued to the point that I can't stand up without a lot of effort. Walking to the bathroom wears me out right now and if I try to walk around the halls for exercise it is extremely taxing.

I am telling you the details because in spite of all that, I still love God above all. How great is our God!!! I still have all my hope in Him and His will for my life. God hasn't changed. I am just moving. If I am not careful that movement could be away from him, but I am determined to make that movement toward Him instead of away. I'll be honest, if I hadn't been still been reading His word and praying to Him in spite of my circumstances...then my movement would have most likely been away from God. I might be blaming God or at least losing faith in him. You can't expect to keep loving God during the tough times if you don't stay in touch with him at all times. I am still going to him in prayer in all things. I am learning to go to Him first as well. We all tend to look at all of our potential options when faced with problems and then when none of them will work , we decide to go to God in prayer of just out of desperation. Well...I challenge you to go to him in prayer first! He is waiting and will be there.

In short, I trust in Jesus, my Lord and savior even in my toughest times times like right now. I keep in touch with Him at all times and I come to Him first when I need something. He will answer my prayers and I pray right now that he get me home soon and that he take away my withdrawal symptoms soon.

thanks for reading,
Henry

2009-07-04T10:51:00.002-04:00

Happy 4th of July! I am still in the hospital and thus will be forced to watch the fireworks from the hospital elevator lobby on my floor. It really is the best seat in the house as far as the downtown fireworks go. see...I was in here two years ago for the holiday and watched them then. It's not too bad this year cause, it's going to rain so I am not missing anything fun as far as cookouts, etc. Right now I am listening to Christian radio and just heard "you are an amazing God". That is such a great song! Having a computer has it's perks cause I can listen to any radio station I want, and type this blog at the same time.

I haven't updated the blog in a few days. I have been rather tired these days of late, and just haven't had the energy to put into a blog. I think it is a combination of the narcotic withdrawal and the speedy heart rate that I have had lately. My heart rate has been in the 140's and 150's with really high blood pressure for 2 of the last three days. My doctor is not sure why so we have called in a cardiologist today. So far they have had to give me two doses of adenosine , which effectively stops your heart and then lets it start over in a normal rythym. That has worked, but the hight heart rate is back today. It started last night at about 1 am and I didn't get much sleep. The cool thing was that as soon as it started last night, I didn't panic (well, I did for a few minutes), but my other first reaction was to go right to the Lord with my prayers. I grabbed my computer, put on the audio Bible in 1 corinthians and started listening. Then i listened to some of my Christian music (chris tomlin's "How great is our God") and it just brought me such peace in the fact that God is the first one we should always go to. He is there waiting for us, and we just need to call on him. Instead of worrying my self to death or complaining to others, I just talked to God and trusted that he was in control. Pretty soon the heart rate slowed enough for me to get a little bit of sleep and it felt much better when I woke up. How great is our God!!!

It's kind of tough right now for me to stay awake and type, so this will be shortened. I just want to say that Jesus is still there for me in all things, and He is there for all of you as well. If you don't think so...I am getting bad news every time I turn around in this hospital, yet I still find more comfort in Jesus' freindship than in anything I can think of. I doubt any of you are going through tougher times right now, so you don't have any excuses. Look to Jesus to help you and to be right along side of you while you are dealing with tough issues. Remember though, He doesn't listen to the prayers of the wicked, but the righteous. If you haven't recieved Him as your savior, then you are wicked in His eyes. If you want be seen as righteous, then you must bow your knee to Him and accept Him as your Lord and savior. it's that easy. Then he will listen to your prayers. With Jesus, we can all know that there will be a day with no more suffering. Please take advantage of it.

take care,
Henry

2009-07-01T15:53:00.002-04:00

You know those times when God wants to get your attention? Well, he just got mine. My friend Paul Kolman (Dr. Kolman as he likes to be called) took some valuable time to come visit me today. I really appreciate Paul and everything he does for me, especially when I am in the hospital. He is truly a good and treasured friend. anyway, while he was here my doctor and his nurse came in give me some rather grim news. They were telling me that they did not find any acute rejection on the lung biopsies. At first glance that sounds like good news, but it wasn't. You see...I had been breathing rather poorly before I had to come in the hospital and we knew something was wrong. We were hoping it was acute rejection because that can be treated and the treatment works somewhat well. What we were not hoping for was chronic rejection, which is not treatable. Well, when I asked the doctor if he thought it were chronic rejection, he said yes in his ever so somber tone of voice. He was preparing me for the worst case scenario. Chronic rejection is one of those things that can hit you fast and hard or slow and gradual...and there is no way of telling which course each individual will take.

I was getting some bad news and i felt badly that Paul had to sit there during the whole thing. Not exactly what he had bargained for. It was good to have someone here though. that way it didn't hit me as hard.

Then a few minutes after the doctor had left, he came rushing back in with news that my viral counts had been high from a virus called CMV. He felt that the CMV may be causing some of my symptoms so if we treated that, then it may help my breathing a little. It didn't change the chronic rejection part, but maybe it would help my symptoms. I hope he's right cause that's an easy fix, just take more pills.

All in all, this is not so good news because chronic rejection is fatal, and there is no treatment. But the good part is that the CMV may be causing some of my breathing difficulties and that can be treated. and...the chronic rejection may take years to finally get me, we just don't know. I will be praying for that.

God is still here in all of this. He is in control and i trust His omnipotence in all this. He is still the first one I look to for comfort because He is our creator and He loves those of us who trust in His son as our savior.

Don't take me for a fool. I am not one of those people who tries to ignore all of the bad things in my life and just insist that God is good no matter what. I know some people like that and they are not being honest. No...I know that God is the creator of all, and I know who He is because I have read about Him in the Bible, I have experienced His love and His miracles, I have seen what He does through other people, and most importantly, I have accepted His Son, Jesus as the Lord of my life. Jesus changed me from the inside out. I don't need everything to go perfect, or even well to still love the Lord. He is rock solid and He is the "north" setting upon which my compass is set. It never moves and neither does He. If you don't believe this, or you just can't figure out why someone can believe this, then please take some time and read the book of John...and pray with all your heart that He show you. What do you have to lose? If it's not true then nothing will happen to you and you have only wasted some time. I bet you already waste time now, so what's the big deal.

take care,
Henry

2009-06-28T22:41:00.002-04:00

Hi to anyone who is following this blog. It has been a tough day. This is 3 weeks today that I have been in the hospital and it taking it's toll. If you know Christ, please pray for me. Particularly I need prayer on a couple of fronts. Please pray that my wife , Joanne is comforted by the Lord while I am gone. Three weeks home without me is really getting hard for her and she misses me, as I do her. Also pray that Dr. Reynolds does the right thing tomorrow when we talk about my status. I am not breathing very well when I exhert myself. I am totally over the acute situation that put me in here, however, I was having lots of trouble breathing before this all happened. I am really right back where I was before the acute attack. So...he has to figure out which way to go. Do we do a bronch with biopsies to see if Ihave rejection going on, or do we just assume that I am having rejection and start treatment? Either way, I will have to be here for another 2 weeks. I am not sure how tough that will be on me, more importantly, how tough it will be on Joanne. I worry about her so much. She is doing so many things all by herself. She is working full time, coming to see me every day, picking up Blair and taking care of his needs. She brings him down here whenever she can. she is dealing with the pool and the house all by herself as well. I just know she is going to run out of gas soon. she really needs Jesus' help. We don't have any time to really talk about God when we are together, which worries me. We don't really have time to properly pray together. Pray that I can conquer that problem with His help. That is so important!!!

On a positive note, Blair was her today and he was so darn cute! He really misses his daddy, and he likes being with me as much as I like being with him. Today, he gave me real kisses. He hasn't done that to anyone yet. He is getting so cuddly and cute that way. I am glad that I got those kisses. They will have to last me until later this week when I get to see him again. It's looking like I may be here for the 4th of July AGAIN! I was here for that holiday 2 years ago during my cancer treatment. Maybe Dr. Reynolds will give me a pass out for the afternoon so I can spend some time out with Joanne and Blair. that would be awesome.

Jesus will never leave my side, and if you know him as your savior, he will never leave your side either. He is here through all of this stuff that I am going through. Living the life of a Christian isn't about pretending everything is great all the time. It's about being real. If life is tough, take it to Christ and pray. He wants to be my friend and my solution to my problems. the only other choice for solving your problems is to go to yourself, or satan, or drugs, or whatever makes you feel good for the moment. BUT those things are not the real solutionn to anything. They are going to make things worse. that is just what satan wants you to do. I choose to take my problems to the creator of the universe, Christ. He may leave me in predicament, but at least I know I am coming to the right person. He is my savior and my freind forever. If you don't know Him this way, you need to get on your knees and ask Him to be that person for you.

I am tired and need to go to bed. Please think about what I have said. take care, Henry.

2009-06-27T14:42:00.002-04:00

I am having a different kind of day today. I was not feeling too well this morning. I stopped most of my pain meds in an attempt to see how I would do with the pain. The pain was not too bad , but boy did I start to feel awful. I felt so lethargic and sleepy that I was unable to do anything but finally lay down and sleep. I was even too tired to do that. Imagine being too tired to sleep. I am not sure if it was the remnant effects of the anesthetic from yesterday's surgery or if I am noticing the first signs of withdrawal. Finally about noon I decided that I had had enough and my pain was getting worse, so I took some fentanyl and a little bit of norco. It did the trick. I woke up more and felt like doing some things. Hopefully I will be able to do some walking around the hallways and get some more energy. What I pray is that I am not going through withdrawal. However, if I am then God is being good to me. These withdrawal symptoms are much easier to deal with then the ones I have had in the past.

Speaking of God...I have regained my interest for listening to the Bible and I even listened to one of our pastor's sermons this morning as well. The Bible is so powerful, especially if you listen to it from max mcLean. He brings something so special to the Word. It has helped take me out of my depression I was starting to fall in to. I am not completely over it, but I am much better than the last post I made.

Remember, we all sin, we all fall short of what God wants from us...but we can all be saved from that. all we have to do is ask God for forgiveness. He wants to give His grace and forgiveness to us all , but many of us won't accept it. No matter what you have done in your life, He wants you to realize that it is wrong and turn to Him for help.
take care,
Henry

2009-06-25T18:44:00.002-04:00

I must say, I am getting pretty bored here in the hospital. Today has seemed like a week. I thank God that this is really the first day that I have felt this way since I have been here. That's good seeing as it has been almost 3 weeks. Having said that...I am still a bit worried about what this means. I have lost a lot of energy, I don't want to watch TV, I have lost interest in listening to the Bible anymore. That worries me a bit. I hope I don't get depressed. I should explain that I think a lot of this is the side effects of the narcotics I am on. I am not taking too much for the pain anymore, but I did have a lot yesterday for my little surgery, and I am having more for a minor surgery tomorrow. That stuff stays with you for a long time. It just makes me listless and it makes the days go by like a snail climbing uphill.

So enough pitty party stuff. On the bright side, I am feeling lots less pain today , which is good. I also am itching to get out and do some physical stuff. Hopefull that will happen soon.

I got to spend some more time with Joanne tonight, but I can tell that it is taking it's toll on both of us. I am glad she at least has Blair to go home to. He is such God-send. They are having fun swimming and going to the splash park tonight. To those of you haven't met him, he is so cute and he is a wonderful baby. When I get home and can get to the camera, I will start posting some new pictures and some videos of him. I know all parents brag on their kids...I am just joining in.

don't forget to try out my Bible search tool on the right. I have been listening to the book of Acts lately and it is really powerful. Christ has done many powerful things in my life and I don't expect that he will stop now. If you don't know Him personally, I suggest you introduce yourself. Read or listen to the book of John. take care,
Henry

2009-06-23T21:45:00.003-04:00

Hey, I am trying out this new search tool on my blog. If you want to look up any passage of the Bible, then just type it up in this search box , which will always be on the right hand side of my blog page. It will give you the scripture(s) and you can click on the button that looks like a speaker and it will open a program that you can use to listen to Max McLean read the Bible to you. try it out and let me know if it works for you.

Lookup a word or passage in the Bible
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2009-06-23T18:06:00.002-04:00

Today has been such a long day :(

I feel like time is just barely crawling, but Joanne tells me that that is a good sign cause it means that I am probably feeling better and getting bored. I think she is right. I have been breathing somewhat better and improving like expected. Tomorrow I have to go to surgery again, but it is a minor one. I am getting an IV port removed that is infected and then I will probably get another one put in on Friday. The surgery will be in IV sedation case, so no intubation. That is always good compared to intubation and ICU.

Joanne and I got to spend some quality time alone today after she got off work. It's nice just to be alone and talk. We always seem to have someone in the room bothering us with medical stuff or we have to watch Blair. now, I love Blair being here, but it is nice to have Joanne alone too. Afterall, she is my wife. You can imagine, we don't get much alone time with all this going on. She is my best friend, so it's nice.

I won't get to see Blair though, and I do miss him. Jo says that they have lots of fun each night going swimming, so that's good. We went over our vacation plans today while she was here. It's exciting cause we are going to Panama City in July with Cathe, Chris, Montana and Josh Kellenberger. In case you're wondering who that is...well it's my sister and her whole family. I can't wait. It will be a great time for all of us. Joanne and I decided to drive down there with Blair, which is going to be VERY interesting. I hope we made the right decision !

Well, that's about all I have for today. I know that God will take care of me during my surgery tomorrow and I trust that He will get me out of here and feeling much better soon. I don't want to miss our vacation , and I miss Joanne and Blair a LOT!!!

take care,
Henry

2009-06-22T10:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was incredible! It was the first Fathers' Day that I felt like I deserved it. Last year Blair was only 5 months old and somehow it didn't seem like I had earned the right to be a "father " for Fathers' Day. This year was so different.

It started out as a long day, mainly because I was eager to see Joanne and Blair. I called my dad and we had a great talk. He is still doing so well, and I am glad of that for sure.

Healthwise, I felt like I turned a corner yesterday. I had more energy than any day I had been here and I was able walk some laps around the floor today without getting as winded as a few days ago. Maybe the Lord is going to give me back some lung capacity that has seemed to have dissappeared lately. Anyway, it felt like a good day.

Blair and Joanne got to stay for several hours and we had a great time. We went outside for a few minutes (that was my first time in 2 weeks) and it felt great! Blair was a handful, running around, but he is so cute and worth the effort. We let him ride on the elevator and he got such a kick out of that feeling of falling. Remember those days when even the most little thing gave you such excitement. That's how he was.

Well...it was Fathers' Day, so I got some presents. Blair gave me a wonderful card with a dog on it ( I love dog cards in case anyone didn't know). Then I got from him some candy and some really cool golf balls that look like a soccor ball, basketball, and a baseball. Boy I can't wait until I get back out on the links. Speaking of links! Joanne got me an awesome gift as well. I got a whole week pass to the Senior U.S. Open golf championship here at Crooked Stick golf club. A whole week is the best. I can go to the practice rounds and maybe get some autographs and pictures as well as go to the final rounds on the weekend. ! It was a great day for me. I didn't even feel like I was in the hospital. God is so good.

Today I am supposed to get my last chest tube out and then we will see about cutting back on this pain medicine. Please pray for me with that. I get so addicted to them and I don't want to suffer the withdrawal symptoms this time.

take care and know that Jesus came for the sick not the well. He loves sinners and wants them to turn to Him for salvati0n. All you have to do is beleive that and pray to Him for forgiveness. He will help you do the rest.

Henry

2009-06-21T08:18:00.002-04:00

Hi All,
I won't take much of your time today, but I wanted to update you on the last couple of days. Well...Friday I finally got to see Blair and Joanne together. Jo brought Blair up that night and I swear Blair had grown a couple of inches taller and put on a few pounds in the 4 days that I had not seen him. I know that's impossible, but it did seem like had become another little boy by changing so much so quickly. I really miss him so much.

So...that night (Friday) was not that fun even though Blair was here. I was feeling kind of sick before they got here and then my heart started racing (I was so excited by having Joanne here). But my heart rate was 162 at rest and it just would not slow down. I had no energy and was not any fun for my family. Several hours later, they decided to transfer me to ICU and see what they could do. So, at 2 am that morning they transferred me down there and they gave my adenosine. It stops your heart for a second and then lets it restart in a normal rythym. It is scary cause it makes you really short of breath for a couple of seconds, but then everything kicks in and your back to normal.

I spent all day Saturday lying in ICU wating to see a doctor so I could go back to my home on 7 north. After being patient for the whole day, I finally got impatient and asked them to page a doctor to see when it would happen. so, at 6 pm I finally saw the doctor. He okayed my going back to 7 north and by 9:00, I was back in my home away from home in 7 north.

The good thing is that Blair and Joanne came and spent a couple of hours with me in ICU. I had much more energy and Blair sat up in the bed with me for a long time. He is so cute and awesome. Jo told me all about how well had done in the pool earlier that day and how he was just so excited to swim. then they went to the splash park as well. sounds like their day was great!

We were surprised by another visitor as well. God keeps arranging these great reunions. When we were sitting in my ICU room, Joanne saw Ted and Sally Allerheiligan walking right by us and she stopped them. They had been down the hall seeing one of their freinds from church and had no idea I was even in the hospital. They spent some great time with us and it was awesome to catch up. What a treat to see them!

NOW, today is Fathers' day and I can't wait to see JO and Blair again. I think I will try to go outside today and maybe have some ice cream out there with my family. That would be a great day for me. Of course I will talk to my Dad and see how he is doing. Thank God for how well He is taking care of my Dad. Dad is also very ill right now, but is feeling much better and that is a huge blessing!

Well, that's it for now. God is good to me. I have been a little angry the past couple of days because I was focusing on what I couldn't do right now, ie play with blair, walk without getting out of breath and more importantly go home and help Joanne raise our boy. But God has been filling me more and more with joy through His Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the only way we can use God's power to overcome sin and stand up to our sinful selves. I am able to find joy in all things these days and God is so good to allow that even after I have yelled at Him and had my arguments with why He is making me go through so many trials.

If you have trouble finding that joy, please pray for Him to show you. Please contact me if you want and we can talk about it.

take care,
Henry

2009-06-19T08:45:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a day of sleepiness. I am feeling a lot more pain in the past few days, so I have been taking more pain medication! It's nice to get out of pain as much as possible, but it left me sitting in my chair or bed sleeping for most of the day. I would be in the middle of a task like doing a web search or listening to the Bible on CD, and next thing I know I would wake up with my mouth wide open. Fortunately nobody came in and witnessed this. Actually there may have been many that I didn't know about since I was asleep. The good thing is that I have been able to cough sufficiently enough to keep my lungs clear since the pain was not as much of an issue.

So , enough about that. Just to let you know, I expect to get my chest tubes taken out today which would help take the pain away. I am praying that the surgeon agrees to do that today.

I didn't get to see my little boy , Blair at all yesterday. I did get to talk to him on the phone, but that was it. I really miss him. Mostly I miss being home with him and Joanne just doing the Daddy thing.

I did get a huge treat yesterday however! I got to see two of my favorite old friends. Terry and Suzanne Klise were in town from Montana and were able to come up and see me while Joanne was here as well. I haven't seen my good friend Terry in over 2 years, and it was awesome to see him finally. I have seen Suzanne once or twice since they moved , but it is always a treat to see her as well. The Klise family is one of our favorite, and it is so sad to us that they have moved away to Montana. They however love it out there and I am really happy for them. For those of you at IUSD, Terry used to teach full time at IUSD and he is now doing dental anesthesia in a couple of practices. That has been a passion of his and he is doing really well with it right now.

That just about does it for my update. I want to thank the Lord for bringing all of these good old friends back into our lives, and I am so thankful that things are improving healthwise.

Please continue to pray for Joanne's physical and emotional strength. She is holding the fort down while I am just sitting here falling asleep and drooling everywhere. Jesus is able to answer these prayers, and I am just trying to remain faithful in my walk.

Remember, it is not because things always go well that I love the Lord. In fact things don't go that well a lot of the times. But I am called love Him and serve Him as well as I can, and I can only do that through His strenth. It is kind of difficult to explain, but chew on that and let me know if you want to discuss it more.

take care,

Henry

Finally got to see Jo and Blair, and a surprise

2009-06-16T19:42:00.000-04:00

Well, today was a long, boring day, waiting for Joanne and Blair to arrive. I miss them terribly. When they walked in the room it was elation. I swear Blair has grown, and it's only been 4 days since I've seen him. Joanne looked great as I expected. We spent most of the time watching Blair be cute and run around doing things that toddlers do. He and I did a few high fives and a few down lows. He gets a kick out of that, and so do I. Then we decided to go for a walk around the 7th floor. I had to take a portable oxygen tank with me (one that you pull). Somewhere along the way, Blair decided to help me by getting behind the tank and pushing it. He was pushing so fast that I did not have to even put any effort into it. He was so cute and was really a help.

Then , of course he got the attention of all of the nurses and patients. He had decided to personally greet each of the patients in their rooms. This would have not been a problem except that he really went into their rooms. We had to keep pulling him out, but we got no complaints. Blair is awesome! Joanne and Blair and I had a wonderful time.

Then, we were pleasantly surprised! When we were still in the hall, a lady came up to Joanne and said that she knew her. Well...it was my cousin Patty!!! She was driving through Indy on her way to Avon to see my Uncle Lewie and decided to stop and see us. My mom had told her that I was here. Wow, what a surprise! Patty looked great and it was awesome to catch up with her and her family. Saw lots of pictures of her kids and grandkids.

Once again, God came through. He made this a wonderful day of family. I pray for them all. Patty told me of our cousin (her sister) Suzie, who had conquered lymphoma with chemo. She said that suzie had just done an 18 mile hike down into the Grand canyon and back up in like half a day. She is a truly and inspiration! That is awesome. I know that we can't all defeat illness or do great feats, but I know that Jesus is more than capable of doing that for us if He wills it. Most of the time He is glorified more in our weakness than in our strength. Keep the Faith, even if you don't get a miracle.

God bless you all, Henry

2009-06-16T11:45:00.000-04:00

Well, this one will be short. I had a very rough night cause I couldn't sleep and the pain was keeping me awake. I did take some pain medicine finally but it just caused me to have really weird dreams. It turned out okay though cause I was up nice and early for breakfast and then that made me tired enough to go to bed and take a nap. Nothin' like a nap.

Joanne made it back from her trip okay and Blair is safely home too. I get to see both of them today.

I talked to one of my nurses just a minute ago and she said that on the day of my surgery , they all stopped and held a group prayer for me as I was being taken away to the O.R. That was so awesome to hear!!! I feel like I am such a burden to these great nurses , yet they must not think so. A lot of them are Christian and I hope I can be a witness to the ones who aren't.

I am hoping that this blog starts to get more interesting, so if you know of any of you friends who would like to follow it, please send them the link. It won't always be the mindless dribble about just me that it has been so far.

One more thing...please pray that i don't get addicted to the pain medicine that I am taking. every other time I have gotten so. Not emotionally addicted, but physiologically addicted. I didn't realize it until I had gotten home and tried to come down on the pain medicine. That is when I started having chills and nausea and felt like crud. It takes a while to figure out the symptoms, but then I have to go through several weeks of throwing up and feeling crappy. If I just stop the medicine cold turkey, then I get really sick.

To make a long story short, just pray for me that nothing gets me addicted.

take care and may Christ be with you no matter what you're going through!!!

Henry

Recovering from surgery

2009-06-15T14:52:00.000-04:00

Readers,

welcome back!! I can't really tell you about Blair in this blog. I have been in surgery since Friday...well, not the whole time, but I had surgery on Friday. I then woke up Thursday morning in ICU. By the way, never go there if you can avoid it. It is a bad, bad place. So I have been recovering since then and I have been feeling lots of pain, lots of embarrassment and lots of loneliness. I am finally back in my old room in 7 north and enjoy it every minute.

I really miss Joanne and Blair. Jo is out of town and Blair has been staying at our friends Sunny and Johnny. You guys are awesome for helping out. Johnny came to see me a couple of times and for that you are a true friend. Not many people would just come and sit while I laid there in pain.

anyway, Jesus has blessed me with many good friends and much good family. We have had lots of people praying for us. Jeusus has been good. I remember asking Jesus to just give us a "break". It seemed like everything had been getting worse as far as my health and we just needed a break. Well, I am here to say that a "break" has been given to us. Jesus allowed us to find what was causing the pain in my lungs. MIght I mention that the pain was unbearable! The urgent care people didn't catch thing, but the ER caught it right away and got me out of pain and sceduled for surgery as soon as they could. They got a chest tube in right away and that helped my breathing right away. my pain and breathig are getting better each moment , which is a God -send. That was a break I needed.

Jesus will answer your prayers if you believe in Him and you obey His Holy spirit. Jesus wants you to follow Him. I have gotten so many blessings from being a follower of Christ. Give him a try.

love ya'll,
Henry

Got to visit with Joanne and Blair today!

2009-06-11T18:15:00.001-04:00

Today was awesome! I spent most of the day sleeping and regaining some energy in the hospital bed (if that's possible). then late in the afternoon Joanne slipped in with a present. She had brought Blair! It was wonderful to see both of them. We took all of my IV's and oxygen tank and chest tubes and even got a nurse to follow us with a a chair so we could walk around the floor of the hospital and let everyone meet our little light of of our life. Most of the nurses had seen all of the picutues but never seemed to be here on he the days Blair had visited. He was in rare form tonight. Everyone loved him and his cute littel run/walk. They also loved the way he said "hi" or "bye" whether the occasion called for it or not.

As you can tell we love him to death, so we are a bit biased on our comments. I do think everything I said is true however.

We all go to eat dinner together and then Blair had to go off to his swimming lesson. tonight is his last lesson for a while. He is to wear full clothing, including a jacket, pants, shirt, diaper shoes, socks , everything. He gets flipped in the water a few times to show that can upright himself and float. Then start to swim toward the edge. We'll see how it goes!

take care of yourselves and please leave comments if you want.

2009-06-10T19:14:00.001-04:00

So, I wish it were happier news to report, but God is throwing some more things our way. I really hope and pray that this is the final step and we get some resolution of my breathing issues. I got to see Joanne twice today which was awesome, but only got to talk to little Blair on the phone. He says Daddy pretty good on the phone, so it's worth it. Tomorrow the plan is to bring him down to the hospital for a while. I am excited and so are the nurses on my floor. They all know us so well, they feel just like part of the family.

Well, the team of doctors came in today and went over the latest CT scan with me. The showed me that I have infected fluid collecting all around my pleural cavity and especially on my left side. The also showed the chest tube which is draining some of the infection but nearly enough. This is also causing pneumonia inside the lungs and I am having a very difficult time breathing. Forget getting to the bathroom. I get exhausted just traveling the 10 feet to get there. I guess they will be putting me in diapers soon :) lol.

anyway, the surgery is scheduled for Friday morning. At best they will just be able to evacuate the infection and get the lungs to reinflate. We won't even talk abou the worst.

We would all appreciate your prayers. and of course we would like to pray for you. Just keep sending your comments and prayer requests along. I have lots of time to take them to the Lord since I am in here all day.

2009-06-09T15:11:00.000-04:00

Hi all,
I have thought about writing a daily dairy of what the Lancasters are up to, but I know nobody is interested in that...so I will keep it up at least weekly.

Well, late Sunday night, actually it was early Monday morning about 2:00 am, Joanne had to bring me to the emergency room. Blair was awake and crying, maybe he knew something was wrong with daddy. I was having severe pain all up the left side of my rib cage every time I took a breath and even when I moved.

So when I got the the ER, they rushed me in and about 10 people pounced on me and and started IV's , got monitors on me , took every vital sign you could think of, and then got a chest xray and a CT scan. All in record time. I guess if you want fast service, tell them you can't breathe.

so here I sit in the hospital with some tentative diagnoses. They say that my blood cultures showed strep pneumonia bacteria , the chest film showed widespread pulmonary effusion (liquid or infection in the lungs) and a collapsed left lower lung from bleeding and fluid that had gotten into the plueral space. They keep updating me each couple of hours with one more problem after another, but I am handling it well. They have put in a chest tube which has drained off 600 cc of blood and fluid, they have me on good pain medicine and I am breathing a lot easier now. They have tried about 5 antibiotics and will probably keep changing them as data keeps coming in. They are most worried about the blood infection. That could get real serious , real fast.

so enough about me. Joanne had to cancel a very important trip for work, at the last minute because of this. That is never a good thing. I feel very bad for her and sad that she has to miss out on some very important stuff she is in charge of. Little Blair will not suffer from this. He will see more of Mommy and still get to go to daycare to be with his friends. He is doing so well in his swimming lessons these days. He does them for 10 minutes a day every week day. the goal is to teach him how to float right up on his back as soon as he hits the water, then flip over and swim under water for a few seconds...then flip back his back so he can rest. He repeats this process, while always looking for the edge of the pool or the stairs when he is swimming under water. He is so good at it and will be a pro in another week. He is only 16 months old, and it's is incredible to watch.

So to wrap it up...we are being put through some tough trials. We believe in Jesus as our Savior, and sometimes that helps in trials and sometimes that makes trials harder. We have gone through both stages, but when we seriously sit down and read about Jesus in the Bible and listen to good sermons on why he allows trials in lives... it really helps. We have personally seen the Holy Spirit take over our poor attitudes ( this is probably been me more than Joanne) and bring a whole new joy to our lives. He definitely helps us trust Jesus as that friend that never abandons us and is always there to talk to about any of our worst fears and trials. Being able to trust in Him so much also makes us want to be more like Him. We have stopped retreating from our friends and started to make contacts with them again. We can take the time to focus on them and their needs now, because we don't spend every waking moment just trying to survive our own problems. It makes us want more of Jesus and to depend on Him more each day.

If you don't know Jesus, or you do , but are just having a very tough trial right now...I hope this encourages you to do what we did. Get on your knees right now and ask Him to take over your life. Jesus won't leave that prayer unanswered?

2009-06-07T20:51:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally learned how to upload an image. this is the start of our blog. Hopefully we will have something interesting for all of you soon.

2008-12-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

This is the first day of our blog. I am very new at this , so I won't have much up here for a while. Hang in there and trust me though.